As I sit here listening to John Rutter’s Requiem, I am flooded with feelings of love for my Savior, Jesus Christ. I marvel at how he could love me and want to redeem me when I continue to disappoint him and our Heavenly Father. I am a sinner – imperfect. I feel as Nephi exclaimed:
…my heart exclaimeth: O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities. I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me.
(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 4:17 – 18)
I was overcome with the Spirit and overwhelmed with feelings of marveling in Sunday School today as I gazed at a picture of Jesus Christ in the garden of Gethsemane while a brother in our class read this scripture:
For behold, I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent; But if they would not repent they must suffer even as I; Which suffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit—and would that I might not drink the bitter cup, and shrink—Nevertheless, glory be to the Father, and I partook and finished my preparations unto the children of men.
(Doctrine and Covenants | Section 19:16 – 19)
The image of a wine press, pressing the juice out of grapes came to mind. Christ, under the weight of the sins of the universe, was crushed so that blood came out of every pore in like manner. It is beyond comprehension the excruciating pain that must have been. But how thankful I am that because of his love for me, his brother, he finished the task and bore that pain.
I pray that I can always live worthy of being able to bring this atonement into play in my life. As the hymn, Lead Kindly Light says in plea to the Lord, “Remember not past years.” Help me go forward and serve God with diligence and faith.